Wanting..

Wanting is structural. What you want is content and the content is interchangeable. In other words it doesn't matter what you want. If you get it you will just switch your wanting to something else. So then why are we upset if we don't get what we want? Is it because we think that we will be happy when we get what we want? Is that not a delusion?

Infact we prefer to wanting to having. Once we have something, we no longer want it and we shift our wanting to something else. So while I am not saying we should not want, thats impossible.  I believe we should stop thinking that getting what we want will make us happy because it does not.  So then its alright to want and not have because having is not going to change my state. Thinking it does makes me unhappy or makes me to wait to be happy till I get what I want and then I shift to wanting something else. So pursue my wants like its a game, doesn't really matter whether I get what I want or not but because it is fun to pursue my wants. That way life is fun.

Self Pity

It is an interesting indulgence we have, this feeling sorry for ourselves. Today I spent the whole day feeling rather sorry for myself and in the end of the day, I have a headache and I am exhausted. Not working out very well this whole feeling sorry for myself. Its like I ate something which doesn't agree with my system and I feel bad.

So my poor wife asks me why I was wallowing in self pity. She would never say something like that. She would instead ask me what was wrong and I could trot out a dozen reasons on why I was wallowing in self pity today but the real reason, if we are honest with ourselves, was that we indulge in it. It is something we like. We like to feel sorry for ourselves even though its not good for us. We cling to this notion of how much of a victim we are and how unfair life is. And when I look back today, it is funny, idiotic and ridiculous. But for ten long hours, I was so convinced that I was this poor hard done by soul. Around eight in the evening after I had watched my thoughts for ten long hours, I started laughing. The whole idea was ludicrous.

Life is a funny thing. You think you have it all figured out and boom, one day you wake up feeling sorry for yourself. :)